SMI Diary -Chapter 1 -Halfway There

This adventure has been an awesome one so far, to say at least...full of awe, or maybe a better word would be...wonderful? Yes, full of wonder. This thing called ‘SMI' - Student Missionary Internship, is a program my church has for the highschool students that attend there and offers a four months training that requires time, effort and dedication as each student is offered the chance to develop a strong relationship with the Lord, a strong relationship with other believers all while practicing leadership and servanthood in fulfillung the great commission. This program has been the main reason I haven't blogged in months. I signed the commitment expecting a challenge and that's most definitely what I got. Not in the way I thought I would though - definitely not. But, nevertheless, an eye opening, adrenaline-rushing challenge. It wasn't  because our homework was particularly difficult. In fact, it's been quite refreshing and honestly the highlight of my day to break out with my bible, highlighters and SMI book to dig deeper into truth     

Actually, the challenge came as sort of a surprise. It wasn't offered at face value. I mean, sure there were weeks where the challenge was laid bluntly at our feet, but the real challenge came with the undertones of discovery that we sort of had to dig up on our own. Mainly because it forced me to speculate everything we studied under a biblical eye, it pushed me past limits I didn't think I had and it gave me opportunity I didn't think I'd get. I think everyone in the program sort of gets to experience some of the same challenges together. After all, the theme does seem to center on teamwork this year. But I also think we each have a chance to experience different things as individuals, depending on how we respond to certain messages or information that's given to us. The things I've learned over the course of the past several weeks of this SMI training are probably enough to put into a book.

I talk a lot, I know. That's the problem with being an extrovert. Once you find someone who will listen, you're excited to hear their perspective on things, but you also want to give yours. You feel special when people value you and listen to you ramble about your newest observation.

For me, this semester, I got to discover more about my extroversion as I interacted more with the body of Christ. This cohesive unit called a team, puts humility into practice in such a way where you may have to sacrifice from time to time.

Me? I'm opinionated. Some people I'm simply not compatible with. But,  I've learned to be okay with that. Being on a team team requires great humility and figuring out how to do things. Not everyone on the team might be willing to do that. So, you have to go in with the attitude, “If they won't do it right, I'll be the example.” instead of being set on your way. It's a sacrificial way of living and it's not always easy. It takes “I am second” to a whole new level. And it's something I've had the chance to practice.

Over the course of SMI, one of my favorite things is that we took the spiritual gifts test, and I found out mine and those of my friends. It was so exciting when I discovered mine were “Mercy, Exhortation and Helping/Service.” Having figured that out, it did take sacrifice to realize I had to start using these towards advancing the Kingdom of God. I had to put myself second and forgive and show compassion - sometimes, when I didn't want to. I had to make it a point to serve and help other people even when it made me uncomfortable or I simply didn't want to. But, it was so fulfilling. Sometimes it was awkward and I felt weird doing it. I started letting those “what if they think I'm weird” thoughts creep in. But, love requires sacrifice.

This wasn't meant to be a paragraph about self glorification. In fact, this has little to do with me. It has very much to do with God working in me and sanctifying His imperfect child to use her in ways she didn't think she could be used.

Exhortation is something that comes naturally to me and it honestly made me ecstatic to be able to exercise it so frequently.  I don’t think I’d ever heard the word before I started training and I think it's cool that now I get to match a word to that feeling I get. The urge instilled in me by God, to be a crutch to other people, that emotion that wells up inside of me to built up a person to their full potential. I love making people see the best in themselves and get them into the habit of practicing their own spiritual gifts as well. I see the best in people and think they should be able to see what I see. Being able to build people up was one of my favorite parts of SMI.

    Another part of SMI that was definitely life-changing was reading the book, “Love Does,” by Bob Goff. Granted, there’s a lot in that book I'm  not 100% in agreement with. But, that was actually the cool part. I got to speculate it and take notes and separate the good stuff from the sketchy stuff.

At the beginning of the book, I wrote, “As Christians, we must read literature under an analytical light, taking into account the bible, in every idea presented.” I decided, instead of taking in everything I read as a fact (after all, it’s not God’s word. It’s another person’s opinion on what God’s word is implying), I would read it carefully and take it in slowly, deciding if there was something I could take away from it or not. That resulted in a lot of family discussion as well as personal spiritual growth.

As an extrovert, I typically gravitate towards the excitement but, having to do these devotions and readings everyday sort of forced me to take maybe thirty minutes a day to just chill on my bed and reflect on how good my Jesus is and think about the commitment I’d made. I’d go through the book and use my imagination a little bit. I had my double-sided highlighters and what I did was create a color code I’d use for the book.

The yellow highlighter was for points I thought were useful and fairly important.

The green highlighter was to highlight things I disagreed with and thought taught a lesson about what not to do or what to avoid. Anything negative, I’d highlight with the green. Even if it was something like the word “lying” or “envy,” it would be highlighted with the green if I thought it was key enough.

The pink highlighter was my favorite one of all. It was for the things that were so good, it sent a chill down my spine. It gave me that sense of excitement as I’m imagining applying it to my life. The same excitement I had when I saw how colorful and fun the front cover looked before I was exposed to it's contents. The pink highlights are the very best parts of the book. The ones I’m going to look back on one day and realize what an amazing perspective they shed. The parts where I wish more people would talk about it in the same light as the writer did.   

The last highlighter was the orange  one. Orange wasn’t extremely important. I used that highlighter to save less-important points or add an additional highlight I forgot. Or, if I’d already highlighted half the page yellow and I come to another point worthy of noting, but it wasn’t as crucial, I’d just break out with that marker. Either way, orange had it’s moments to shine too. Just not nearly as much as pink.

One of the most important things I learned from hearing what Bob had to say was first, life is a beautiful, whimsical adventure. Of course, I already knew life was an adventure. But, I’d always limited myself to realistic ideas. I never thought to add whimsy into the picture. I also never thought it would be particularly beneficial to be different (outside of my faith in Jesus). I love how Bob Goff tends to use a very childlike but effective reasoning as he contemplates the experiences he’s had in his life. The good, bad and ugly. He seems to view in a humorous light that all comes together to paint a magnificent picture of this short time we have here on earth.

I learned that doing crazy things and even going as far as to inconvenience ourselves a little bit, in order to serve someone else is actually an amazing decision. It gives off the best feeling in the world as a result. Doing nice things for other people sometimes doesn’t come with a reward other than that good feeling and God knowing that you did that good thing. Sometimes, you’ll be met with a strange look because, doing nice things isn’t normal anymore. But, does that mean it shouldn’t be normal?

    Something very important I learned this SMI is to take responsibility and initiative in everything I do. It’s easier said than done for sure, but it’s most definitely a very crucial skill. It involves time management and leadership to say “I'm going to do this,” even if nobody else is following your lead. This ties in with standing out. You see a problem that needs to be fixed and you don't wait on anybody. You fix it.

            I think one of the most important things I learned during the first half of training is to see Jesus working in everything. Consider Him in everything. Acknowledge Him in everything. And when we see Him doing amazing things, write them into stories later. Create illustrations to add to your story so that through your life, nobody can deny that Jesus is real and Lord of All. Nothing we do will make Him love us more or notice us anymore than he already does. Doing good things doesn't make us better people. But it does show the world who Jesus truly is. 
The bible says to let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds. And it may bring glory to the Father in heaven. This is something I've finally understood firsthand and have fallen deeply in love with. And so, havin just taken midterms this past Sunday, I'm so excited to continue writing each amazing new chapter so that you may see our Lord is real, miracles are real, radical change us real and His truths live on, for He is the same God yesterday, today and forever. 

Leave me a comment below if you want to hear more from me about this SMI journey, the people I meet and the thoughts I have!

~Kiah